


Special

by randomwriter57



Category: Free!
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fluff, Future Fic, M/M, Pining, Slow Burn, probably
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-26
Updated: 2016-12-26
Packaged: 2018-09-12 05:50:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9058339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/randomwriter57/pseuds/randomwriter57
Summary: The moment their paths cross, Nagisa knows Rei is special.
Or,
Nagisa and Rei fall in love, but both are too dense to realise it.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for [bishieobsessed](http://bishieobsessed.tumblr.com) for the [Iwatobies Reigisa Gift Exchange](http://iwatobies.tumblr.com/)! You asked for fluffy reigisa, so I hope this is fluffy enough for you. I hope you have a happy holiday, whatever you celebrate!

The moment their paths cross, Nagisa knows Rei is special.

It isn’t love at first sight. They’re both fifteen, both longing for friendship more than romance. Not only that, but Rei blanks Nagisa on their first meeting. With any other person, Nagisa wouldn’t have pushed any further.

But something about Rei is different. Even after Nagisa moves on to other potential candidates for the swim club, his mind keeps returning to Rei. Something about Rei draws him in even before he sees him jump and realises how beautiful he is.

Later on, Nagisa will name that intrigue “fate”. He will turn to Rei with a smile and hopes as bright as the sun. He’ll tell him he’s beautiful and ask him to join the swim team. And, after all of Nagisa’s pushing, Rei will finally relent.

If he was any other person, Nagisa wouldn’t have kept pushing. But Rei is different. Rei is special. If his joining the swim club isn’t fate, even after the embarrassment of their joint practice, then Nagisa doesn’t know if fate exists anymore.

 

* * *

 

 

In a matter of months, Nagisa and Rei are closer than he could ever have hoped. He’s been over to Rei’s house countless times, and every evening after swim practice is spent in each other’s company. At one point, Nagisa realises that he has seen more of Rei than most people have before. His friends might have seen his true personality during their swimming endeavours, but they haven’t fallen asleep on his shoulder, felt his gentle touch as he brushed the hair out of their eyes.

For once, Nagisa wants to be selfish and keep this to himself. He’s had friends before, but they’ve always had a best friend who wasn’t him. He’s always been behind his friends, watching them go forward together and wishing he had someone on the same level as him, someone who could go at the same pace as him.

By the end of their first year, Nagisa finally has a friend to call his own. Someone he wants to keep close to him, someone he can call his best friend with the knowledge that Rei feels the same way.

 

* * *

 

 

The summer of their second year blazes with adrenaline. None of them expect the drama which ensues, the tears streaming down their cheeks. But when the scores appear on the board at Nationals, they don’t have a single regret.

Nagisa thinks he would be mad to regret any of this. Especially when this summer has gifted him with such amazing memories, not only of his time with the swim club, but also with Rei. Being in the same class as him for once, spending even more time together, and even studying together.

Who knew studying could be so much fun? For the first time in his life, Nagisa looks forward to opening his books to study. Mostly because there is always someone there to coerce him into doing _one more question_ when he feels like collapsing for the night. Or maybe it’s because, for the first time, he understands and is interested in what he’s learning. Having Rei help him to understand it is definitely a plus, of course.

On one such study session, Rei falls asleep. It’s a rare occurrence, though it has happened a couple of times before. Having it happen when they’re studying is unexpected, of course. Usually Rei is at his most attentive during their study sessions. But there is no mistaking the slow rise and fall of his shoulders as he dozes on the table, head rested on his arms.

It could be the rarity of it which has Nagisa locked in place, his eyes traversing over the sleeping form. He can’t help but think of how vulnerable Rei looks when he is asleep. His expression is completely unguarded.

Part of Nagisa itches to find a pen and draw on his face, but he resists the temptation in favour of indulging another one. Carefully, he reaches over the table, brushing Rei’s fringe away from his eyes where it had fallen. Then, with even more hesitance, he slides Rei’s glasses from his face. The younger boy nuzzles closer to his arm in his sleep. Nagisa’s breath catches in his throat.

He doesn’t have the heart to wake Rei up. Instead, he tries his best to move Rei into a more comfortable position, lying him down on the floor. It’s a challenge, considering Rei has more muscle than Nagisa. But somehow he manages, and after marvelling at how heavy a sleeper Rei must be, he props a pillow under Rei’s head and tucks a blanket over him. Then, smiling, he lays on the floor and decides that if Rei’s allowed to take a nap, then he should be allowed to, too.

When they awaken, night has long since fallen. After scolding him for not waking him up sooner, Rei sets out the futon and lets Nagisa take the bed. Jokingly, Nagisa tells Rei he wouldn’t make a bad husband. He doesn’t quite understand the blush which takes over his face at his words.

In the night, somehow, their hands find each other, grazing each other when the light awakens Nagisa at dawn.

 

* * *

 

 

Their third year is the most eventful of all. Nagisa decides it’s because so much has changed, is changing, will change.

The bigger changes are obvious. Swim practice has never been so busy, what with all the first years who have joined. The class tests are harder, and their teachers remind them nonstop of their college entrance exams, career surveys, interviews with teaches about future choices. Nagisa is starting to understand why Haru was so stressed last summer.

But Nagisa’s always had a knack for noticing the smaller changes. He doesn’t miss the few centimetres of height he gains, or the way his face slims, or how his shoulders seem wider. Or is that the result of him standing taller, holding his head higher?

It isn’t his own differences which strike him the most. It’s Rei’s. In all of one moment, Nagisa realises that Rei is not the first year who caught his eye anymore. He looks more mature, his cheekbones more pronounced and his mannerisms more confident. He wears a smile with ease, no longer hiding himself away.

Talking to him and being with him are the same as ever. Nothing has changed in their dynamic. But now, Nagisa is aware of how attractive Rei is. It scares him. The shift in his heartbeat when he finds himself focusing on Rei’s lips instead of his eyes. How their hands brushing against each other sends a shock through his veins. How he longs to grab Rei’s hand, to keep it still in his own.

He doesn’t dare ask anyone about it. His siblings would tease him beyond belief, and he wouldn’t be surprised to see a stack of books show up on his desk if he asked Gou. Asking Rei is, of course, out of the question. And he doesn’t want to bug his older friends when they are so busy with more important things. Things which he should be focusing on too, instead of the shadow of Rei’s collarbone peeking out from underneath his shirt.

It becomes his secret. Something he tries not to acknowledge, even to himself. A guilty pleasure of sorts. He shouldn’t enjoy looking at his friend as much as he does. So he tries to hide it.

He doesn’t notice Rei’s eyes on him, long after he looks away.

 

* * *

 

 

In his third year, Nagisa decides he wants to see the stars. They’ve always intrigued him. As a child, he wished to hold them, to see them up close. He knows now that doing so is impossible. Still, he wants to make history, to be one of the few people to see the universe.

It will be difficult, he knows this. His career adviser makes sure to stress the fact, underlining it twice on the written evaluation of his career form. But in the end, he knows the hard work will be worth it, to come back to earth having seen another dimension of being.

To give Rei a piece of the stars.

For months, Rei doesn’t tell Nagisa his choice of university, or which course he is applying for. He doesn’t lie, only avoids the subject. Whilst Nagisa has faith in Rei, he can’t help but worry. Rei must have plans for the future, right?

His secretive nature concerning his future means that it’s a complete shock when Rei finally tells him which university he will attend. Nagisa never expected that, of all the choices Rei had, of all the fields of science he could have picked from, he would choose astrophysics. All because it’s Nagisa’s dream to become an astronaut, and he wants to live that dream with him.

They celebrate by going into town for dinner. Their matching envelopes lie forgotten on the table.

 

From then on, Nagisa studies harder. He was already studying hard, of course. After what happened in his second year, he can’t afford to let his grades slip again. Besides, he aches to get into this university. But now he has more of an incentive - the dream he now shares with Rei.

Somehow, it feels more real, sharing it with someone. His dream is no longer a secret desire hidden close to his heart. Without Rei, even being in space would feel like something was missing. It’s only now that Nagisa begins to realise that Rei is part of his dream. He thanks his lucky stars that he has the honour of achieving it with Rei at his side.

 

* * *

 

 

They share a flat.

Having moved from their homes in Iwatobi into their university’s home city, it’s only common sense for the two of them to share a flat and split the rent. They’ve known each other for long enough that it doesn’t make anything difficult or awkward.

That isn’t to say that living together doesn’t change their dynamic, of course. It does so in a much greater way than Nagisa expects it to. Their living habits are at two opposite ends of the spectrum, since they’ve come from two different backgrounds. Nagisa finds himself having to adapt, learning to clean up after himself after finding Rei blitzing the entire flat by himself, despite the mess being Nagisa’s. He also notices Rei taking charge of their shopping lists, insisting they eat together and split the cost, since it will be easier for both of them. Nagisa lets him, since he knows how easy it is for him to overspend on things he doesn’t need.

Even the smaller changes feel obvious. How Nagisa’s strawberry-scented shampoo runs down more quickly than usual. How Rei’s glasses end up disappearing overnight, only to end up on the bathroom sink or the coffee table. How, in the beginning, one sofa feels too cramped for both of them, when months later, each cushion has a crease dedicated to the shape of their bodies. How it becomes normal for Nagisa to lay his head on Rei’s shoulder as they watch TV and to catch a whiff of something distinctly strawberry-scented.

Over time, they fall into a natural rhythm. They share chores without even discussing it. Bathroom visits cease to clash. In the morning, Nagisa will invariably wake up to a cup of coffee. At night, a green tea will always make its way to Rei’s side without him noticing.

Sure, they have their arguments. Living in each other’s space all the time means that avoiding them is impossible. But at the end of the day, neither of them would ever want a different flatmate.

 

* * *

 

 

In university, they keep swimming. It becomes a backseat hobby, of course, considering the amount of work they both have to do for their courses. But they still make time to go to the university’s pool and swim a few laps, to keep their bodies in shape. Exercise is a must for them, after all.

Much like their swimming routines, their studying routine ends up staying unchanged. Mid-year, they abandon their desks in their separate bedrooms and meet at the table in the living room, working through their coursework together. Even though they’re studying different courses, a lot of the content is the same, so they manage to help each other through it without much difficulty. It also gives them both excess knowledge of information they might not need for their course right now, but which, as Rei points out, will come in handy in the future.

Living and studying with Rei, of course, means that Nagisa rarely gets away with staring at him, now. Which is a shame, Nagisa feels. Now, Rei returns his gaze within seconds of Nagisa looking at him. He’s running out of excuses, now.

But he wants to keep looking at Rei. Watching his eyes grow wide with excitement, or his face closing in behind his glasses in confusion. If he could get away with it, Nagisa would watch Rei all day.

The one time they study in the library with a few friends who share their courses, it becomes a hazard. Nagisa can’t help but steal a few sneak glances at Rei. If the chemistry between them from their years of friendship wasn’t enough to convince Nagisa’s friends of his feelings, then the staring is. And sadly, his friends aren’t the type of people who leave such matters alone.

“Hazuki, you keep looking at Ryugazaki,” one of his friends says with a smirk. “Do you have something to ask him?”

Nagisa, in a flurry of panic, makes up something about not understanding one of the questions. When Rei moves closer to look at the question, he freezes, self—conscious because of his friends’ teasing smirks.

“You’ve already answered this question, Nagisa-kun,” Rei points out. “How can you not understand it?”

He laughs it off and apologises for wasting Rei’s time before rushing to the bathroom, embarrassment forcing him to run from the situation. He doesn’t miss Rei’s concerned eyes following him as he leaves.

 

* * *

 

 

In their third year of university, Rei goes on a foreign exchange programme.

“It’s only for one semester,” Rei says when Nagisa tears up at the airport.

“I know,” Nagisa says.

“I’ll message you as often as I can.”

“I know.”

He wipes his tears away with his hands balled into fists, though his frustration keeps the tears flowing. Gentle hands take Nagisa’s hands from his eyes, then wipe the tears away much more carefully. Then, Rei pulls him close, for the first time initiating a hug. Nagisa hiccups as Rei’s hands rub comforting circles into his back. Eventually, his breathing evens out.

“I’ll miss you,” Nagisa murmurs into Rei’s jacket.

“I’ll miss you too,” Rei says into Nagisa’s hair.

When they part, Nagisa forces a smile on his face. He won’t let Rei’s last image of him before he leaves be one of sorrow. “You’ll be great, Rei-chan.”

“Thank you, Nagisa-kun.”

With a final smile and wave, Rei heads through the barriers, leaving Nagisa alone.

 

* * *

 

 

Those months are the slowest Nagisa has ever lived through. Even during middle school, time passed more quickly than it does now. He supposes that’s part of the package, when the person you’re closest to leaves for months.

Every day feels the same. Waking up, going to lectures, doing chores, eating, studying, going to bed. Rinse and repeat. Nagisa feels like he is repeating one week over and over. There is always a sense of deja vu hanging over him, no matter what he’s doing. This sudden experience of mundane everydays makes Nagisa wish the days away even quicker.

These everydays are filled with the sense of something being missing. What is missing is obvious. Nagisa knows that Rei being gone is not a tragedy. He can get along by himself. He knows how to buy groceries and do chores and get by on his own. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t lonely, having to do all these things on his own. It doesn’t mean it doesn’t take twice the time to buy everything he needs when he goes grocery shopping for the first time without Rei. It doesn’t mean that, for the first few weeks, his meals aren’t screwed up because he cooks too much and ends up without enough food for a couple of days before their weekly shopping day.

Nothing is the same without Rei. Studying is boring without someone to bounce his ideas off of. His tutors even mention his lack of enthusiasm in the first few classes after Rei’s departure. Doing the dishes is quiet without their usual banter. Waking up in the morning without Rei waiting for him in the kitchen makes breakfast a lonely affair.

As much as he tries to surround himself with positivity and the presence of his friends, and as often as he messages Rei, he can’t deny the loneliness he feels. But at the same time, he understands that this space might be what the two of them need. If he hadn’t had this time away from Rei, maybe he would never have realised. After all, you can’t miss something until you love and lose it.

 

* * *

 

 

When Rei returns, Nagisa understands.

He doesn’t know what causes it, exactly. Maybe it’s the light tan on Rei’s skin from the foreign sun, or the bright spark in his eyes when he talks about everything he didn’t get to tell Nagisa through messages before now. Despite the dark circles under his eyes and the jet-lag he must be experiencing, he still stays awake with Nagisa, talking. Maybe that’s what does it - the sound of Rei’s voice, so close to him, so clear, unmarred by a crackly connection.

Nagisa loves Rei.

All this time, he has been falling in love without realising it. What he thought was a crush he could hide and dispel over time developed into a much greater beast. Somehow he had convinced himself it wasn’t love because the typical romance cliches weren’t there. But Nagisa realises now that his love isn’t his heart skipping a beat or his breath hitching. It’s the loneliness of being apart, the feeling of being recharged the moment he hugs Rei at the airport. It’s the cup of tea he makes Rei when they get home - home, to their home - weaker than usual because he’s too impatient to let it steep. It’s the cup of coffee he finds by his bedside the next morning, cold from waiting for him to awaken.

As he sits on the living room couch, watching the clouds pass by, he holds the coffee close to his heart, takes a sip, smiles. Even after months without practice, Rei still knows how to make a perfect cup of coffee.

The problem with his realisation, of course, is that he doesn’t know what happens next.

Finally he understands the feelings he’s been nurturing for years. His heart tells him he should be celebrating, but he knows this is far from over. After all, he still has no idea how Rei feels about him. He doesn’t even know if Rei likes guys. Or anyone, for that matter. In their second year, didn’t Rei say he wasn’t foolish enough to be taken in by something like love? Does that mean there’s no chance of his feelings being reciprocated.

Nagisa sighs. It’s just his luck that as soon as he figured out his feelings for Rei, they would be rendered hopeless.

He decides to keep his feelings to himself. Another secret to add to his collection. Not that he’s ever been the best at keeping secrets, but no matter. He’ll try his best to keep his feelings hidden. His friendship with Rei is too precious to mess up with something like this.

Besides, Rei is dense. There’s no way he’ll understand Nagisa’s feelings unless he says them outright, right?

 

* * *

 

 

It happens on an otherwise ordinary Tuesday night. They’ve both been busy recently with studying, especially since they’re in their third year and finals are approaching. Once again, they find themselves at the kitchen table together, every surface littered with revision notes as they fire questions at each other.

“We should take a break,” Rei suggests once they make it through a third of Nagisa’s revision notes. “Sitting at a table for too much time will cause our muscles to weaken.”

Nagisa groans but concedes anyway. As much as he’d love to get these notes finished with as quickly as possible, he knows Rei is right. Standing, he stretches with his arms above his head, enjoying the feeling of his muscles tightening and relaxing. When he opens his eyes, he notices Rei looking at his stomach. A split-second later, Rei looks away.

“I-I’ll make some tea,” Rei says, getting up from his seat and tripping over it on his way to the kettle.

Nagisa doesn’t bother stifling his laughter.

With his cheeks an even brighter shade of red, Rei stands and moves over to the counter, flicking the kettle on. After a moment of listening to Nagisa’s laughter, he mutters, “What are you laughing at?”

“You falling over your chair,” Nagisa says, walking over to stand beside Rei at the kitchen counter. “What’s making you so clumsy, Rei-chan?”

“I am not clumsy,” Rei says. He opens the cupboard and pulls out a pack of teabags, which he promptly drops.

“You are tonight.” Laughing, Nagisa reaches over to pick up the teabags. At the same time, Rei reaches for it. Their hands meet, and they freeze, the laughter choked in the change of atmosphere. Beneath his hands, Rei’s is quite cold, though his skin is soft from constant care. It quivers under his touch.

“Your hand is shaking,” Nagisa says softly.

“So is yours,” Rei says.

Nagisa looks from their hands to Rei’s face, their eyes meeting at the same time. There is an emotion Nagisa can’t place in Rei’s eyes, a shimmer of light he puts down to a passing cloud. It’s the indent in his eyebrows which intrigues him. What he would give to be able to read minds, right now.

“Is it?” The words are a murmur, unimportant in the grand scale of everything else which is happening in this moment.

Rei’s lips part as though he is going to say something, but at that moment, the kettle clicks loudly, bringing them back to the real world. Nagisa pulls away first, laughing nervously and making an excuse about needing the bathroom, to get out of the room. He closes the door with as much care as possible before leaning his back against it, a hand over his heart. At this rate, there’s no chance of him keeping his feelings hidden.

He puts his fingers to his lips, tries not to imagine what might have happened if he’d followed his impulse and kissed Rei right then. Nothing good, he guesses.

Once he calms down, he finishes up in the bathroom and returns to the living room. Rei is back at the table now, two mugs accompanying him and their notes. He looks up and gives Nagisa a smile before looking back down at his work. Nagisa smiles back and takes his seat, turning to his own notes. He tries to ignore the feeling of regret which sits with him at the lost opportunity.

However, that’s not the end of it.

Not even five minutes pass before Rei puts down his pen. He takes a sip of his tea, then continues to hold his mug without doing anything. Nagisa can feel his eyes on him and looks up, letting his own pen fall.

“What’s wrong, Rei-chan?”

“Oh, it’s nothing.” Rei looks down at his mug.

“It’s obviously not nothing,” Nagisa says, reaching for his own drink. He takes a drink of coffee, enjoying the warmth caressing his throat.

“I-I suppose you’re right. B-but it’s nothing to be concerned about, don’t worry.”

Nagisa looks at Rei over his mug and pouts. “Come on, Rei-chan. There must be something wrong. You’ve even given up on your work!” He gestures to Rei’s notes, which haven’t grown at all since before their break.

Rei averts his eyes, taking a sip of tea to avoid answering.

“You’re the one who taught me that you can’t solve a problem without talking about it,” Nagisa says, thinking back to the argument with his parents back in second year of high school. “Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten?”

“Of course not,” Rei says, putting his mug down. It’s empty. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“Rei-chan, we’ve lived together for three years. I don’t think there’s much you could do which would make me uncomfortable.”

There’s a moment in which neither of them speak. Nagisa sighs, putting his mug down and laying his hands on the table. A moment later, Rei puts his hands on top of Nagisa’s. _Now_ , his breath hitches.

“Nagisa-kun,” Rei says.

Nagisa looks up at Rei. The determination in Rei’s eyes surprises him - what is he thinking, right now?

Rei holds his eye contact as he continues to speak. “We’ve known each other for six years, now. Over that time, I’ve thought about what to call our relationship. I’ve never had a relationship like this before, so it’s been tricky, putting a name to it.”

Oh god, this is it. Rei’s going to give Nagisa some spiel about friendship, breaking his heart in the process. He tries not to let his feelings show as his heart sinks, instead focusing on Rei’s words.

“When I went abroad, I finally understood. It took a lot of thought and research, of course, but I realised that when I wasn’t with you, I felt lonely. It was as though I was back in middle school, but worse. This time, I knew what I was missing.”

A sliver of hope appears when Nagisa realises that Rei felt the same loneliness as him when they were apart, but it’s diminished by the thought that Rei is dense as hell and probably thinks it was because of how close their friendship is.

“When I returned, I noticed a lot of things. How different things are now from how they used to be. And that’s when I realised that our relationship has changed, too. And I don’t think that’s a bad thing.”

Rei takes a deep breath, closing his eyes as he does. Nagisa takes a moment to admire his lashes, then shakes the thought away - concentrate, _concentrate_.

“Nagisa,” Rei says.

His heart stops. The absence of the honorific hovers above them, weighing down on their thoughts. Suddenly, the entire conversation has shifted, because Rei is not the type of person to drop honorifics without reason. Everything Nagisa thought he knew has changed, now. What is Rei trying to tell him?

Rei looks down at their hands, wetting his lips out of nerves. His hands are shaking again, and Nagisa longs to clasp them back, to steady them. He doesn’t.

“I am attracted to you. Romantically.”

Nagisa stares at Rei, downright _stares_ because he cannot have just said that. But Rei is blushing and still looking at their hands and this is exactly the kind of confession Rei would make.

“I understand if you do not feel the same way, and I hope it doesn’t make things too awkward for you knowing my feelings towards you are not platonic-”

Standing, Nagisa leans over the table, getting as close to Rei as he can, which is infuriatingly not close enough. “I like you too.”

Rei looks up at him, his lilac eyes wide and his lips parted. His glasses have slipped down his nose, and looking at him from above makes the sight even more endearing.

“R-really?”

“Of course,” Nagisa says. His relief starts to come out in the form of laughter. “I was being so obvious about it, I never thought you’d catch on.”

“You like me,” Rei repeats breathlessly.

Nagisa smiles, his heart filled to bursting. “I like you, Rei.”

He hears the hitch in Rei’s breath at the lack of honorific. A buzz flows through his veins at the idea that he’s the one who took Rei’s breath away.

“Nagisa,” Rei says, looking as though he’s seen the stars for the first time. His eyes shimmer, and tears well up in them, forcing him to look away.

“Are you crying?” Nagisa says, moving over to Rei’s side of the table and letting Rei have his hands back so he can wipe at his tears.

“I’m so _happy_ ,” Rei sobs.

Warmth fills Nagisa’s eyes, and a moment later they’re both crying, holding each other close as they let their feelings flow. After a few minutes, when their breaths synchronise in slow beats, they move apart enough that they can look into each other’s eyes. Nagisa laughs at Rei’s expression.

“Your glasses are all dirty,” Nagisa says, taking the glasses off his face and putting them on the table. Then he rests his forehead against Rei’s, enjoying the feeling of closeness. “Can you see me?”

“I’m short-sighted,” Rei says with a grin. “This is the first time I’ve been happy about that.”

“Why?” Nagisa says, weaving his hands into Rei’s hair.

“Because I don’t need to wear my glasses to see your face.”

Nagisa laughs and moves closer, his nose bumping against Rei’s. “I’m glad I can see your face, too.”

Their first kiss is amateur and badly coordinated, with too much teeth and not enough lips. Their laughter doesn’t make it any easier. But that doesn’t matter. Because as much as Nagisa might have pictured their perfect first kiss over the past few years, this imperfect version is much better. Somehow, despite the imperfections, it still manages to feel as though he’s seeing the universe up close.

When they part, they look into each other’s eyes and laugh, and Nagisa knows that Rei is definitely special.

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me at [randomactuallywrites-57](http://randomactuallywrites-57.tumblr.com) on tumblr | [@randomwriter57](http://twitter.com/randomwriter57) on twitter!


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